Sorry, I haven't updated for a while.
I have created a new contradiction poem, it's only short, definitley not a favourite, but it's okay:
Does it always seem to be,
Right when it's not?
Dark in the midday sun,
Cold when its hot?
What's going on?
I'm not too sure,
Afterwards is now before,
Time stays still,
The past goes on.
Basically it's about confusion. I like the fact that if you read it out load, towards the end it starts getting faster and more snappy.
Anyway, my story is getting along good! I won't reveal anymore until it's finished, then I will post the whole thing on here!
If you read any of my posts, please comment!
Until the next post,
Georgia
About Me
- Georgia
- I am a teen girl who writes poetry. I do also write stories, but I prefer poems. I have been on a Gifted and Talented writing course, which was fantastic, and I just love writing my own poems. Thank you to Louise Llewellyn for my profile picture.
4 comments:
Hm...again, I like the simplicity of this one. Though of course contraditions are fairly stock images in poems, I do like the line "afterwards is now before," both rhythmically and in its poetic sense. Just a small grammar note, I think "what's going on," should have a question mark after it. Also, I'm not too sure about the ending. It might even be stronger to leave it with the time image of "the past goes on" (another line I like), rather than shifting back to a rather weak, general focus on you.
Yep, I know there's a lot of criticisms in here, but the overall idea of the poem is interesting. Definitely one to hold on to.
Yes, I was also un sure about the ending. I was wondering if I should round it off, or do a snappy ending, but I agree with your comment actually, will change it now! Thank you for the feedback.
Enjoying your updates Georgia. Love the line "the past goes on". So true - our past experiences certainly shape our present and future. Maybe the title of a new poem? (with flashbacks?!)...
Yes, I like that line too. Maybe because the previous line is time stays still, so it's inferring that sometimes the past catches up with you.
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